5 Ways Trauma Could Impact Your Dating Life

You’re saying you are not afraid of the bad days and you see the beauty in the good days. You’re saying that a lot of things may scare you, but trauma isn’t one of them. Connecting with a trained therapist can help you process the abuse, recreate a sense of safety, and begin to thrive, instead of just survive. That said, your patience and understanding can have a positive impact on both their recovery and the outcome of your relationship. It can feel frightening to consider opening up to someone else about experiencing abuse, but a compassionate therapist can offer guidance and support as you work to heal. Key symptoms of PTRS include rage, horror, and fear toward the abusive partner.

Like all relationships, communication can’t be emphasized enough. It ensures both partners are on the same page, and helps survivors feel they have enough space to process their trauma within a relationship. While it might be frustrating as a partner, these responses are born out of the way the brain and body protected the survivor during their trauma. Survivors need to let their mind and body re-adjust to safer relationships, which takes time and patience.

C-PTSD may make your partner unable to fully trust anyone, even those who are closest to them—and that could include you. “Trauma affects the brain on a physiological level,” says Koerwer. This is why it’s crucial for people to be trauma sensitive in relationships — where we do a lot of interpersonal healing — but it’s equally important that everyone is doing their own inner work. Personally, I will not date anyone who tells me that they have trauma unless they are currently in therapy, have already done decades of therapy, or are actively engaged in other healing practices. In addition to a distorted worldview, many adult survivors struggle with issues related to trust that can prevent or significantly impact their ability to engage in a healthy committed relationship.

How to support someone living with PTSD

She accused Armin of hiding secrets from her and claimed she could not trust him. Suspecting she might be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder , Armin eventually convinced Jana to see a therapist. When Armin first entered into a romantic relationship with Jana, he knew very little of her past. When fear and distrust make it difficult to trust others, it becomes even more important to reach out to a therapist for support. Some people also find it helpful to join a support group and connect with other survivors of relationship abuse. An abusive relationship is trauma of a different kind.

Romantic partners and other loved ones are not trained therapists and are not equipped to deal with all of the issues that PTSD may bring. It is vital for a partner to protect their own emotions in situations that feel overwhelming or very difficult. Post-traumatic stress disorder can develop after trauma, such as assault or military combat. The symptoms of PTSD can affect a person’s well-being and relationships. A healthcare provider may recommend a consultation with a psychiatrist for further evaluation of mental health. If other symptoms or mental health conditions are present, a psychiatrist or healthcare provider may prescribe anti-anxiety, antidepressant, or other medications to manage and reduce symptoms.

But when the person you’re dating at first seems like the love of a lifetime, deeply passionate and emotional, and then flips a switch, you might find yourself hurt and confused. This can quickly start taking a toll on you and those around you. Sexual abuse and sexual assault and violence can happen to anyone, but healing from sexual trauma is possible. Survivors often harbor a deep seeded belief that no one can really be trusted that intimacy is dangerous, and for them, a real loving attachment is an impossible dream. Many survivors believe they are irrevocably flawed, not good enough and unworthy of love. Whenever he is triggered he act very similar to his abusers in his past and treat me as if I’m his abuser.

Maybe they insist you’re just trying to make them feel better or shut down and stop telling you how they feel. This disinterest, known as anhedonia, happens commonly with depression. Treatment can help renew their interest and energy, but in the meantime, offer compassion instead of criticism by validating their feelings. Our group of expert therapists specializes in counseling services for couples and individuals throughout the San Francisco Bay Area, and online. We help couples overcome difficulties and evolve as individuals and as a team; increasing understanding and love. Finding a couples therapist educated about Complex Trauma is recommended and can help facilitate the healing process.


Even though the movies told us that a person with any sort of mental illness or disorder will be instantly fixed through romance, you just know that’s all untrue. We can guide you in approaching a loved one who needs treatment. Don’t wait another day to get the help you https://datingrated.com/ or a loved one needs. “Trauma bonding can cause us to question our own reality or to trust someone else’s reality more than our own,” Dr. Powell says. She’ll make a lovely home one day, but there needs some care in order to make a space where both of you can fit.

Be an Open Minded Listener

Helping others can reduce feelings of failure or feeling cut off from others. Lastly, relationships are a source of support when coping with stress. Trauma survivors with PTSD may have trouble with their close family relationships or friendships. The symptoms of PTSD can cause problems with trust, closeness, communication, and problem solving. These problems may affect the way the survivor acts with others. In turn, the way a loved one responds to him or her affects the trauma survivor.

Finding Support as You Navigate the Relationship

Remember that support is available through advocacy organizations like the National Domestic Violence Hotline. When signs or symptoms of trauma impact your mental, emotional, and physical well-being, your relationships, or other aspects of your life, the support of a mental health professional may be needed. Unfortunately, adult survivors of sexual abuse may be less skilled at self-protection, continuing to retain the perception of victim rather than making the adjustment to survivor. This tendency to be victimized repeatedly may be the result of general vulnerability in dangerous situations and exploitation by untrustworthy people.

An older study from 2010 of military veterans with PTSD found more parenting conflicts, less confidence in their relationships, more negative communication, and less marital satisfaction. Research suggests a connection between PTSD and relationship problems. Massive changes have led to feeling overwhelmed and out of control.

Shame makes you want to hide or feel rage toward people you perceive as having shamed or rejected you. Shame makes you hide important parts of yourself from your partner. You may put up a “wall” or mask your insecurities by attacking others or overcompensating. For couples, moving in together can feel like a quantum leap forward in your relationship.

These signs are not written in stone and can depend on different people. While they can be as small as communication problems or issues in speaking up. There can be big issues too that can be anger problems which can lead to abuse and violence. Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.

People with low self-esteem or low self-worth may believe that they don’t deserve better. That they are deserving of a person who does not treat them right. There can also be a possibility that they may have been treated horribly in the past and they compare it with the present and feel like this is at least better even though it isn’t in the general scenario.